Why?
by Silverdragon98
Summary: Rein and her friends talk online about her 'sexual' problems with Ai. Do not read if you are offended by vulgar language and conversations about mature/disturbing topics. AixOC


Silver: This is an entire chat-based one-shot, where Rein and other friends are talking through a chat-based website. Do NOT read if you are disturbed by things such as things having to do with women, and everything in between.

Warning: Vulgar language, other things you might be grossed out/disturbed by.

This thing is rated M for a reason, I promise. o.o

I do not own Uta no Prince-sama or it's characters, or even the characters here except Rein and Caius.

Any misspellings or grammar errors are put purposely. This WAS an actual conversation.

* * *

_Rein has logged on._

**Rein**: Dudes, what's a gainoecaelogit? ._.

**Sai**: Do you mean gynaecologist ? .-.

**Rein**: Ummmm... Sure? xD

**Sai**: Medical practice dealing with the health of the female reproductive system.

I read that in a book ; u ;

**Rein**: So basically... a vagina doctor? ._.

e.e Books...

**Sai**: Books are fun. And not vagina, it's the reproductive system, as in the ovaries and such. (Inside the vagina. Heh e u e)

Why do you wanna know ?

**Rein**: Sooo... a vagina doctor ._.

Ai said I should visit one since I missed my period this month earlier today. ._. I didn't know what it was and he said it was better to ask you guys.

**Sai**: Yeah, uh

*Throws confetti and streamers and glitter everywhere*

You're probably preggers.

whOOPIE~

**Rein**: But we've never had sex ._.

OMG

DON'T MENTION THAT TO HIM

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SEX IS

**Sai**: How can you /not/ have sex with him yet

That's like

Omfg

OTL

I'LL TEACH HIM~

**Rein**: NO

MINE

I'll do it someday omgit'llbeasawkwardasourfirstkiss

**Matthew**: Wait... If she's preggo... FAMILY MEETING GUISE! THIS IS SERIOUS!

**Rein**: HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT IF WE'VE NEVER HAD SEX

**Matthew**: THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! WHO FUCKED REIN IN HER SLEEP? (plzbefutascout)

**Rein**: I'M NOT PREGNANT THERE'S PROBABLY JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY HORMONES o.e

AND HOW COULD SCOUT IMPREGNANT ME

**Matthew**: UNLESS YOU'VE GOT REALLY EARLY METAPAUSE THEN YOU GOT RAPED IN YO SLEEP!

**Rein**: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT METAPAUSE IS

FUCK

**Matthew**: ~FUUUUTAAAAA

**Rein**: STOP TALKING

AI'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME

I DON'T KNOW WHAT FUTA MEANS EITHER

**Matthew**: AI STICK YO DICK INSIDE HER, IF THERE'S NO RESISTANCE SHE BEEN RAPED

**Rein**: NOOOOOOOOOO

FUCK

STOP

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANS

SHUSH

**Matthew**: AND FUTA MEANS CHICK WITH A DICK

**Rein**: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

THEY HAVE THOSE!?

**Matthew**: AI! WHEN A MOMMY AND A DADDY LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH THEY FUCK! BUT SOMETIMES MOMMY GETS RAPED IN HER SLEEP!

**Sai**: SCOUT IS NOT A FUTA YOU RETARDED DUCKS

**Rein**: JESUS FUCK WHAT PART OF AWKWARD DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

**Matthew**: SCOUT MADE A PENIS WITH HER LOOOOVE! REIN AND SCOUT SHALL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY!

**Rein**: NO THANK YOU

I'D RATHER SEE A GUY GET IMPREGNATED

_Scout logged on_

**Scout**: WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING OUT OF YOUR DISEASED MOUTHS

_Chaos logged on_

**Chaos**: I'm a registered gynecologist.

**Scout**: WHAT

THE

FUCK

**Rein**: BULLSHIT

**Scout**: Chaos, shut the fuck up and go back to the vagina cave you sadly crawled out of.

**Rein**: *Facedesk* I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS TO AI NOW

**Chaos**: *holds up degree and points to self* Not. An. Idiot. Like. You.

**Rein**: THANK YOU ASSHOLES

I AM A PROUD IDIOT, THANK YOU.

**Scout**: Aaaaaaand now I'm done with this conversation. /jetpacks away

_Scout logged out._

**Chaos**: So you gonna let me see your vag or what?

**Rein**: NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS

**Chaos**: Like I want your loose skank pussy.

**Rein**: LIKE I WANT YOUR FAT UGLY CHODE

**Sai**: Ya nastee

We're talking about Rein and Ai's sexual problems, not your gross needs e_e

**Chaos**: Fine. Be a pregnant whore.

**Rein**: *Gives Sai a cookie* THANK YOU, SAI.

AND I'M NOT PREGNANT! DX

Dude, I think i'm killing this caps lock button

**Sai**: *Noms*

**Chaos**: LET'S CHECK THEN DUMBASS!

**Sai**: Omg

rEIN

MY BOYFRIEND WAS THE SAME WITH ME

YOU JUST GOTTA PUSH HIM DOWN ONTO THE BED, RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT, RIP OFF HIS SHIRT, AND BADDA BING, BADDA BOOM

**Rein**: THAT'S SO AWKWARD THOOOOOOOOOUGH

AI DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE HAD TO TILT HIS HEAD WHEN WE FIRST KISSED

**Sai**: EHEHE

TRUST ME, IT GETS SOOOO MUCH BETTER- *Nosebleed* Aw shit.

**Rein**: o.e

I'm scared

WAIT A MINUTE. CHECK WITH WHAT!? I CAN'T LET AI SEE ME WITH A PREGNANCY STICK THING

**Matthew**: You could do it at Ven's.

**Rein**: Venny's away for the week Q~Q

_Drew logged on_

**Drew**: I guess... I could maybe do it...

**Rein**: UH NO

**Drew**: Let you come over I mean.

**Rein**: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

AI SAW THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION

HE WAS WATCHING WHILE I WASN'T LOOKING

Welp

I'm fucked

**Matthew**: PULL OUT THE TEST! SQUAT OVER HIS FACE! PISS ALL OVER HIM AND THE STICK!

**Rein**: you've never had a girlfriend before have you

**Matthew**: ...Fuck you

**Rein**: Aaaaand now I have to go explain to him what sex is and all of that. o.e Wish me luck.

**Sai**: Just make a circle with your finger and put your other finger through it

**Rein**: He's not gonna know what the fuck that means either xD

**Sai**: Oh sweet brown wai

**Rein**: FUCK THIS. SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING GUYS. I'M JUST GONNA GO STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH THIS AND OFF WITH THE CLOTHING.

_Rein logged off._

_Caius logged on._

**Caius**: It's things like this that make me damn fucking glad i'm not a girl.

**Sai**: lOL

* * *

Silver: Lol, well, I hope you guys enjoyed that disturbing... /funny?/ one-shot. If you thought it was funny, go ahead and review and tell me what you thought about it. xD I hope you weren't too disturbed by it.

By the way, this WAS an actual conversation. Rein has her own facebook, and I was talking to other people's characters who have their own facebook as well.

If you want to join in on the madness, PM me. :)

For more Rein and Ai, see my collection of one-shots, 'Together', or my single one-shot, 'Lucky To Have You'.


End file.
